I’m fighting every single urge to fall asleep or take a nap until at least 10pm. The only reason I’m so tired is because I’m not yet on what is described as a “Living, Human Being’s Sleep Schedule”. I have a good 3 hours sleep in me, and I’m still up throughout eight hours of classes today as well as a commute and a bit of a drive I had to take upon arriving home.
Now, in regards to the title. The deed that is done is, simply put, the completion of this blog. I finally integrated every digital weblog I’ve ever kept on to this here Blogger. That means I could easily reference just about any point in my life dating all the way back to 2001. Pretty neat, huh? In case you were curious, these are the journals that were integrated…
With all of this material, I was thinking of being a pretentious bastard and creating a “Gorm’s Greatest” post in the near future, where I link back to some of my favorite journal entries. Some of the crazy shit I used to write just made me laugh as I skimmed through it. So be on the lookout for that.
While I’m still feeling a sense of nostalgia, let me just pose a question for you all to reflect on: Have you ever gone back to read something you had written in the past just to find that you’ve improved greatly as either a friend, individual, author, or even a storyteller. Looking back on things I compiled two and three years ago really makes me appreciate all the work I’ve done between then and now to improve myself overall person as well as my writing skills (I went through a “i hate capital letters” phase for close to two years!).
“Find your faith and dive deep, through living gateways pass. Lined with death and ivory, and hold fast, hold fast…”
Mood: somewhat excited
Tunes: Cave In - Sonata Brodsky
ah, well i figured i’d test out this new layout for this particular part of the page, i like it a lot and am probably gonna stick with it for a while. it’s added mood and music, which is probably kind of important info to understand correctly the gist of what i’m trying to convey. is it just me? or does everyone i know have a deadjournal nowadays?
i’m not saying that’s a bad thing, but it seems kind of impersonal the more and more people get one. i used to be able to type http://www.deadjournal.com/~njpinebaron into my browser and that would be it, now there are at least 10 others. but everyone needs to vent it suppose, which is the great thing about those journals. they let everyone know how you’re feeling without actually telling everyone, which has it’s pros and cons, i suppose. the one pro is that rather than tell 15 different people individually or in a small group, you can reach all 15 in one fell swoop. but there’s something very much different about telling a real person, something that is just so much more gratifying than typing it into a little message box. you feel as though you’ve actually accomplished something. now, this is a tad hypocritical of me, telling you the evils of typing in journals when you’re reading this in my kind-of journal thing. but i do tell real people too, i just like letting everyone know what’s going on.
while still on the subject, i have a set rotation of these things as you know. once a new month rolls around i throw the old entries into archives, and as i was doing it this month i just realized that june is over, gone forever… what did i accomplish? well, i got a job, which is good. i have worked out a deal to purchase a car. i have officially started a band. and i have begun writing again. was this month a success? yep, i’d say so. i’m starting to budget my time better, which is astounding (i never budget anything). but i’m beginning to wonder how many more successes one can have before starting to take a turn. ah well, it’s not like i’m worried… i enjoy doing well in life, which is what i’m doing. i just gotta wait for my body to adjust to becoming nocturnal, it’s a real bitch waking up sometimes. but i definitely don’t mind being up from 4 to 9 in the morning working. but back to the point at hand, mainly being, time creeps past us all, and there’s no force strong enough to stop it. so what do you do? make the most of every single friggin day! that way, you’ll have no regrets, and every day will be shining with success. “[instrumental cosmic frequencies]“
ah, decided to get at least one more entry in before the end of the month, and with any luck there will be one more before the 30th. anyhow, i’ve been pretty good, although my schedule is all thrown off from working such crazy hours. but, work aside, things are good. i don’t really hang out much during the week anymore, just because i have a sort-of self imposed curfew, but i believe i shall do away with that…
ever get the feeling you’re growing up? i’ve never actually thought much about it, because up until recently i haven’t had many real life responsibilities or obligations. it’s just kind of odd, i sort of realize that i’m growing older. and not that it’s a bad thing, but… well… it’s just hard to explain. once this kicks in, i think you sort of lose your “i’m invincible” mind set and take on a more “better live each moment fully” kind of mentality. i live life pretty well, i’d say. i try lots of things, get involved with things i feel to be interesting, and keep in touch with my friends and whatnot. i often wonder if my friends are going through the same thing or have went through the same thing. i suppose to some extent yes and no. because i’d say, without thinking twice, that my friends are my role models. i aspire to be as kind, funny, talented, and overall great as each of them. i often see a reflection of myself in them too, which is more than flattering. but, back to the getting old thing. i think i’m about due to grow up. there comes a point where you just sort of realize you won’t be able to coast through life at
your own pace (as nice as that would be). but i say, live it up as long as you can. i’ve always had this one theory about work… throughout my high school years, a lot of people were rushing around to get jobs and quitting jobs to get another job. my philosophy is that, like it or not, you will be working for the rest of your life unless you’re a) rich or b) a lottery winner. i saw no point rushing to get a job when i was young and free knowing that i would be working the rest of my life.
i love that theory, and i hope i can pass that on to a disciple or anyone reading this really. i have a job now, and i must say it’s a damn good one. i probably wouldn’t want any other job right now, unless they paid me to sleep in which case u.p.s. would have my resignation tomorrow…
“so what now?” i ask as i sit here, sipping my coke, eating a cupcake. the answer is simple… press on. it’s not in my nature to regress or revert to a certain stage. so the only thing to do is progress to the next stage, whatever that next stage is, i simply do not know. take the best parts of the old, and mix them with the new… that’s the plan. “believe, believe in me, believe that life can change, that you’re not stuck in vain we’re not the same, we’re different tonight… tonight”
wow, gotta take some time out of my early morning, and we’re talking early morning schedule to write this thing. things have been quite busy lately. and i haven’t written as much as i’ve wanted to, so i’m gonna sit down and write about the past 7 days or so, to bring you all up to speed on things.
wednesday: ok, day of baccalaureate mass (at 6 pm… un-promptly, of course) and graduation practice earlier in the day starting at 8:30 am. woke up and went to jon’s to catch a free ride to holy family college, where the practice/ceremony was held. we were there until, eh, let’s say 11:30. of course it was over earlier, but we walked to wawa and then came back and waited for sandra to arrive, and i believe she was surprised to see us. ah, the rest of the day was kick ass, kev stopped over for a little bit, but it was hot as hell if i remember correctly. anyways, when 5:30 rolled around i got all dressed up for the mass… black pants, black shoes, white shirt, dark tie, and a black gown over all of that… as you may have guessed, with all that on, and standing in the sun didn’t make for the coolest mass conditions, but they had the air conditioning on inside which was nice. the ceremony was good, a little drawn out, but about the same running time as a regular mass. everyone got out and was in a pretty good mood, so we up and went to bennigan’s for a victory dinner with friends. it was me, jill, kev, jon, aaron, rachelle, jay, and bosco. really good food, and an overall great time. afterwards we walked rachelle home, stopped off at wawa, and then went home. rock!
thursday a.k.a. d-day a.k.a. gradu-friggin-ation: woke up at the crack of noon, it was a nice change and good to know that may be that way all summer. anyways, was pretty antsy all day, with good reason of course. called people up for my graduation party (why didn’t i remember to call carl? balls!). was chillin, listening to music for a while, then playing drums, and then playstation, just stuff to past the time. and finally, 3 o’clock rolled around and then i remember “oh balls, i gotta be there now.” well, we hurried up to get there, mom was panicking so much, which was hilarious to see/hear/be in the presence of. we got in the car and mom was off! she was driving more aggressive than i’ve ever seen before, taking turns like they were nothing and pushing the speed limit on 95, it was quite rad, so props to mom for getting me there on time. arrived there, people swapping yearbooks and all, found my little clique and joined in on their antics. good times. the ceremony was kick ass, the place was pretty filled. in the end i graduated with distinction in 3 areas (business law, accounting and finance, and drama… woofrigginhoo) and grabbed my diploma. afterwards, i went out to dinner with the family, to ‘the pub’ over nj, kind of a family tradition to go there, that and the food is exquisite. got invited to aaron’s party, but didn’t attend, simply because it was raining so hard and i couldn’t get a ride… so i played agent under fire with that crazy cat eric all night… good fun.
friday: day of rest, later in the night i went to my good friend marcy’s graduation party. it was a good time, got to see some other friends of mine and hear some pretty cool music in the process… i danced, i ate, i danced, i danced, i sat down for a long time, and did various other things. definitely a good time and had lots of fun there. got a ride home afterwards, hung out with eric on the porch (because that’s what porch punks do) and then went to bed.
saturday, the party: more rest, but also the party. start: 2 pm, end: 2 am. it actually ended at around 8 pm for most of my family, but friends stayed later and a few even stayed over night, which was really cool. had to mingle around between friends and family, but i think i did a good job. good food, the family was proud me, got many gifts, friends kept good company, saw vanilla sky, and went to bed around 2:30 am, what else could one ask for? the answer is nothing.
sunday, party and a show: woke up late in the afternoon as par, and did various things to pass the time. when 3 pm rolled around, i got a ride to jon’s party. it was at this pretty decent hall, fully catered and dj’ed of course. i just sat down at the table that had the people i knew and began talking and whatnot. yearbooks were exchanged, kind words were written, all and all nice. sat and talked, read some very cool lyrics written by a friend, and made up roads and bridges on my friend sandra’s map. shortly before i was about to leave, my friends tanya and alice arrived, which i kinda feel bad about, because i haven’t really talked to them in a while. maybe i’ll take them out to dinner sometime… idea… anyways, the reason i had to leave an hour early was because my dad was on the way to take me to a concert… harry connick jr to be accurate. superb show, i must say. he’s a jazz/swing artist with i would approximate a 14 piece brass section backing him. the show was a little shy of 3 hours long, but i liked it all, so i seemed to fly by. anyhow, got home afterwards, and talked to eric on the porch until like 3 or 4 in the morning, which was a mistake, as you’ll see in the next section…
monday, back to school already: woke up at 7 am (arg!) to get ready and dressed for my la salle orientation. it was a pretty good time, i think i’ll be having fun in college. i hope i get to meet a lot of new, unique people, and i myself will try to change … wait, scratch that, progress on to the next form of myself. college life seems like a lot of fun and i plan on getting involved… because that may be the one regret i had in high school, not getting involved in a lot of stuff. but i won’t get in over my head, that’s something i rarely ever do anyways. but the day went by very quickly, and upon returning home, jon and kev stopped over and we went to the mall to look around for some father’s day gifts. did anyone else know that fye (formerly known as the wall) sells pornography? not that i was gonna buy any, i just thought it was kinda funny that i glanced around, saw the new britney spears album, which thousands of young people will most probably purchase,
and then 2 feet away was debbie does dallas (i swear). can you guess what i did when i got home? that’s right, same thing i did the past 3 nights, sat on the porch and talked to eric.
currently: ah, well, right now i’m doing pretty good. things have been getting to me a little more than i’d like to admit lately, but i think that’s just because of all the commotion. what with graduating, going to college, playing in a band, doing a poor job updating this website, and in the process of getting a job, i’ve been under quite a little bit of stress, at least more than i’m used to. but as a whole things are good, i’m getting lots of sleep when i’m not waking up to go to colleges and job interviews, but i haven’t seen my friends as much as i’d want to. there are some people that i used to hang out with a lot that i don’t really talk to or see much of anymore, and that makes me kind of sad. i hope they’re not too upset with, because i’m going to make a couple attempts in the near future to hang out with them. wow, well that about sums up the past week or so. expect the entries to be less erratic from here on, time management is going to come into play. “in the stream of commerce we’re afloat, and unafraid to sail a sinking boat. honestly my hand is on the plug, it says here right on my dotted line. haste creates waste, keep your eyes on the road, you might, be able to drive, now you’re so lucky to be alive… alive.”
just writing for the sake of writing really. haven’t been doing much lately. just waiting for school to be OVER. good news, i got a job, i’ll be working for UPS whenever i decide to start, but i gotta go there and fill out an official application and whatnot. i’m kinda happy, it’ll be nice to have a job because of the influx of money and whatnot. but also just because i think i’d have a good time doing it. with the job, i’m hoping to get some money up for the following items… one (1) canon gl1 digital pro camcorder, new drum gear, and perhaps some money for a car/insurance. so there are many reasons for me to go out there and get in the work force. still kinda feeling just like “here i am, now what?”. i haven’t been doing much, which is probably why the new site unveiling will be pushed back even further (maybe until around the 8th). music has been pretty important lately, it’s what really motivates me to get up in the morning. not just listening anymore, but actually playing. been jamming with eric for a few weeks now and i’m pretty happy with what we’ve accomplished and the ideas we’ve had, so all and all that’s what gets me through the day. we really can’t practice now though, because he went to get some new gear put in his guitar, so it’s in the shop for about a week. but in the meantime i’m sure we’ll film some feeds, so expect something new in the coming days. had an interesting theory on deja vu, but it’s kind of hard to back up and i didn’t
put any extra consideration into it, but i’ll pose it for you just to give you something to think about. most people believe that you can dream something and then it happens at a later time. this is generally accepted as a sort of precognition thing, a door to what will occur. then my mind got to wandering… what if, out of the infinite possiblities in this universe, you subconsciously take the steps necessary to reenact the scene you dreamed. it sounds a little out there i suppose. because
people will pose the argument, “well, how the hell did i know who exactly was going to be there in the exact places/clothes/mannerisms as in my dream.” don’t ask me, all i know is that most of the deja vu i experience is a fairly generic scene with people, no one exact, just people, in different positions. and it’s really just a flash anyhow, so it’s not very clear. ah, really just trying to get yas to think outside the box for a moment or two. i won’t go into anymore detail. “magnetic tapes are
old bloodstreams, for this recording calm machine. we’re serving all the jaded hearts, yes we are. of those without a place to start.”
well, here i am, enjoying my day off, thought i’d do a little posting on here to make up for the lack of updating elsewhere on the site. i’m doing extremely well at the moment. school is coming to a close, there are no real class days left, just exams and graduation practice. also i’m hoping to enter the work force shortly (at UPS to be specific). i’ve been sitting down and actually teaching myself things, which is great because there’s something i haven’t done in a while, and i really enjoy making myself more well rounded and versatile. so the video editing is working out great, and the web development/design is coming out great, school is almost over, i’ll be getting a job shortly, what else could i need? good question… i don’t know. everything is going great, i’m quite satisfied with all the events occuring in my life, but there’s that one, miniscule, thing that’s still missing. i absolutely have to find out what it is, because it will kill me if i don’t. i’ve also decided, among other things… that this summer will be one of rebirth. i’m remaking myself into a better version of me. i was half listening
to, watching, or reading something and i came across some interesting dialogue that went something a long the lines of this…
1: “what are you saying?”
2: “i’m leaving.”
1: “you have a duties that must be tended to for us.”
2: “you’re right, but i also have a duty.”
1: “and what would that be?”
2: “the duty to be a human being, which comes first and foremost. you see, at first i thought i was being selfish, but then i realized. thinking about yourself is smart, thinking about no one but yourself is selfish. and you see, that i why i must leave.”
1: “…”
with all that talk of leaving aside, i think 2 made a pretty good point. i kind of need to do that in a way. you all know i start
things and then just put them off indefinitely. this summer is going to a summer of change. i will make amends for the certains inequities that i carry. so hopefully, with a little effort on my part, i can be a new me by the august… just in time for college. ah man, just to let you all know, the new layout which is still in the works will carry the good ol’ fashioned “response box” that my really old site used to have, so you guys can respond and give feedback anonymously. “like a phoenix ignition, like a crematorium. like a swelling volition, from the barrel of a gun. from the ashes and the embers, like a rocket i’ll ascend. like a cry gone up for a fallen friend…”
So little to say and so much time… Here goes something….
My name is Andrew to everyone who knows me and nothing to the people who don’t. I rarely feel inclined to write about myself and this small text blurb is no exception. I’m a film maker, of sorts. A designer, of sorts. A musician, of sorts. A photographer, of sorts. An armada of etceteras march behind these four generals.
The point I’m trying to make is that I enjoy art in all of it’s forms, and try my best to creatively express myself in every medium I take a liking towards. As always, things like life get in the way of being a non-stop idea factory, but that life is something that I’m thoroughly enjoying at the moment.
It consists of my beautiful girlfriend who I am very much in love with, a job that pays me well to do work that I would otherwise be doing for free, and a family and friends that I wouldn’t trade the world for. It’s safe to assume that I’m walking on air/over water/atop mountain peaks (pick one… hell, pick all three).